*** Fitness Challenge for DJBakelite week…uhm…well? ***

Greetings Undies 101 boys…

I am very red faced while writing this post.  I am failing on my fitness challenges.  There I said it.  Now I can move on.  I was sick with the flu for about 7 days back at the end of January.  It was a very nasty case and everything physically I had done was last within that week.  I don’t remember ever in my life feeling sick for that amount of time.  I want to chalk it up to it being a really killer strain of the virus but deep down I know that my lack of sleep and insane work schedule and in general not taking my health seriously was the cause.  Pushing 40 as well is also a factor.  Though I may fool myself in the mirror by looking years younger then my age tells me on the outside, what’s going on inside doesn’t lie.

I considered this 7 days a real wake up call.  There isn’t a lot of time in life to fuck up and fuck around. When my body derails from functioning correctly it’s very scary.  It’s only then that I realize how much trama and stress I put my body through. Others in my life can see very clearly how fatigued I always am even if I am blind to it.

 I have this woman friend who runs the building which the business I work for is housed. I am lucky to see her on occasion whenever she pops by.  We’ve known each other for almost 13 years.  I saw her today in her Valentine’s Day glory.  She was all in red, obsidian black hair all done up, rose read lipstick in shocking hue, and a diamond encrusted heart charm the size of my fist hanging from a platinum chain around her neck.  She is the most powerful person I know in my life right now.  When I see her, the energy and focus she exudes is blinding.  She knows what here priorities are and where her love and vitality lies. It’s written on her face.  She is both passionate in her femininity and ball busting when she access her masculine forces.  If I were not gay, she would be the woman I would have for a life partner.

Today when I saw her she could see in my face and my body posture the fatigue I was blanketed under.  We gave each other big hugs and pecks on the cheek as we always do when we encounter each other.  It’s always warm when we embrace and I think to myself when in that clutch how lucky her husband and 2 children are to have her in their lives.  When the hug ended she looked me in the eyes and said, “The only person who is going to take care of you is YOU and you’re not doing it.” I started to tear up a bit which I know is very unprofessional in a work environment.  Granted I was on the selling floor at the time with many clients around us, but for various reasons I can be that way with her and know I am safe.  “This job,” she went on to school me, ” is a means to and end. It’s not important and must remain as a way of making funds only so that what is important, the time you spend living in your real life and with your loved ones is fruitful and meaningful.  The stress of this job and the stresses in your life don’t mean shit.  Take care of yourself!”

She hit everything on the nose; as she always does. I haven’t been true to what is really important for some time and though this fitness challenge is part of making things better I have been looking at the challenges as outside obstacles as opposed to inside desires to make my life better.

I am not on week 5 boys; not by a long shot.  I am still on week one.  I have bitched quite a bit in my last ‘fitness challenge’ update about obstacles in my way, so there is no need to repeat any of them now.  But I can say that a commitment from the inside was made today on this very important holiday, Valentine’s Day.  This year my Valentine, while looking in the mirror with my heart on my sleeve, literally. (Every year on this day I put a paper heart on my sleeve.  It’s the only day of the year I can get away with showing that metafore physically on my person without the world being tempted to rip it off of me.)  On this day my Valentine revealed itself to be me.  How can I show love for myself?  It all goes back to how I felt while being sick in January…

Do I want to live or do I want to die?

Dramatic, I know, but I’ve always had a flare for the extreme being an actor an all.  I want to live and that can only happen if I, as my fellow undies boys know very well and as my woman friend at work I described earlier has embodies in her life, it can only happen if I take care of myself.

So, I am starting over.  This is week one for me. Today, right now I begin with the first challenge of the year knowing that it is based on a desire to be healthy and alive.  I’ll keep you posted on the progress even if I am chapters behind the other boys on the blog.  It’s not a competition. It’s a way to stay alive.

Wish me luck!  More to cum…

-DJBakelite