One of our readers, Joe, writes:
“Want to know if any of you have had a significant other that might have found your fascination with underwear a little off. My partner wears pretty good undies, we share underwear, etc…but he doesn’t get why I’m so into underwear? Any advice on how to share this with him, or how to get him to “go along” on my underwear exploration journey? We have a good solid relationship…he just doesn’t see the appeal behind underwear…he sees them more as a necessity…rather than something fun, and sexy!”
Well Joe, here’s my take and we’ll have a few others weigh in as well. I’m single, and I often wonder how my fascination with underwear will go over with boys I date and when to even bring it up. I have dated a few guys that while they didn’t have a collection as large as mine, were into underwear and wore all different styles and we were able to enjoy each other. I have dated boys that have said they are into underwear and were clearly not when all they wore were CK boxerbriefs (not that they’re not fun) and then boys that just didn’t understand the fascination at all. I typically have just gone about my business and let the guys realize on their own that they haven’t seen me in the same pair of underwear yet and ask about it – that way I can base my response on their reaction and how they ask about it.
As for your unique scenario, here’s what I’ll say. Does he have an area of interest that you don’t understand as much as he does? Maybe a hobby that you don’t get but he enjoys? It’s the same thing. You’re passionate about underwear, he views them as something functional and nothing more…you see the function and the appeal in them. There’s nothing wrong with that. Have you had a conversation with him about what the underwear means to you, what about it excites you? Is that a conversation you’re willing to have, if you haven’t? If you have shared it and it’s something that he still doesn’t understand, he might not. It’s just one of those things. The important thing is that your relationship is solid and that he isn’t reacting adversely to your underwear obsession. Right?
I go back to this quote from Pretty Woman, “Peoples reactions to opera the first time they see it is very dramatic; they either love it or they hate it. If they love it, they will always love it. If they don’t, they may learn to appreciate it, but it will never become part of their soul.” It applies to so many things in life. You love underwear, your partner appreciates it – the upside is he doesn’t hate it and there are no judgments on you for loving it. Hope that helps…there will be a few others from the Ask Us section weighing in as well, so look for their answers.
One of my exes liked my underwear addiction. One time we started fooling around and once I pulled his pants down I noticed he had a new pair of Clever underwear that had buildings on it. Since I’m a structural engineer I really geeked out over his new skivvies and it made the fooling around that much more fun. Another time we went to a baseball game during the day, and that night when my pants came off he saw I had a pair of undies that looked like a team uniform (pinstripes, a couple color blocks, and the script of the logo was very collegiate.) That was his turn to geek out and made the experience fun.
I guess my only suggestion is tell him an easy way to get you going is by picking up a new/unique pair of undies and modeling them for you. That way the experience starts to be fun for him also.