So you guys have been hearing about all of the awesomeness that Spunk Lube (the lubricant that looks like jizz!) provides for most of this month. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that I’d be able to add anything new to the discussion on “helps dicks go in butts!” so I decided that since I wasn’t using it for that anyway, I might take a stab (puns!) at a different position (omg!).
If you’ve ever been to my home, you know that I have some sort of psychological problem when it comes to buying personal care products. When my roommate’s guests use my bathroom, their most frequent question is “oh, is that where your girlfriend keeps all her stuff?” There are literally hundreds of different soaps and shampoos and conditioners and scrubs and polishes and lotions and exfoliators and brushes and tools and creams and cremes and bleaches and straighteners and curlers and oh my god it’s a really long list. Ironically, none of them has been able to satisfy my lust for more. So I’m constantly spending money on new and slightly different shit.
Great example: my Philips Norelco Take It In The Shower With You Man Razor. The kind with the three little rotating dealies on the top like my dad had when I was little. I was so excited when I got it, that it never occurred to me that it might be too severe for my delicate, well cared for baby-face skin. And so by the second time I used it, I had promptly and thoroughly torn my face all to shit with it. Now, they suggest that you can use a shaving cream or gel with it, but everything I’d tried got the insides gummy pretty quick and slowed the whole process down to a stop.
But what if there were a product that was MADE to keep things from getting friction-y? That also sort of moisturized your skin while you used it? And maybe also it looked like ejaculate (which wouldn’t be terribly helpful here, but still provided a “maybe I shouldn’t put this on my face…” moment before I tried it)? Enter, Spunk Lube Hybrid.
The tiniest little bit of this goes a long way, but the more I used, the better it seemed to go. This combo (sex lube + electric razor) has consistently given me the closest shave I’ve ever had without someone else doing it for me. And my skin afterwards felt great! No residue (which my present aftershave does tend to leave) and no “yes, there’s sexual lubricant on my face!” smell to be noticed! Actually the Hybrid version has a nice, almost fresh scent to it, that was entirely inoffensive. 
Is it the most economical way to shave your face? No. It probably isn’t. But Will I probably keep doing it anyway? I probably will because it’s quick and effective, and leaves me feeling even smoother than my shick 87-blade ultra comfort sensitive skin because you’re a big baby about stuff razor.
BONUS ROUND! I just used this same method to shave my chest, and it’s given me the least amount of irritation I’ve ever had with this task (traditionally fraught with redness and bumps and blah blah blah skin problems). I couldn’t be happier with this jizz. Thanks JEFF. This song is for you:
U101 Review System Rubric:
Review Ratings:
Wanking material – I’d use this to wank, but might hide the bottle…
Bring a friend – Not only would I use this to wank, I’d bring it out for my one night stands…
Pick a position – I’ll use this to wank, I’ll use it with one night stands, and hell…pick a position and you can use this with me anytime, anyplace!
All night long – this is the best lube I’ve tried and wanted it to last All Night Long!!!
Listen, if I have to shave my face every day now because I’m some big stupid grownup, then I want this shit to last as long as possible. I will use this up. I will buy more. And I will tell other boys that I see with red marks on their neck from their razors that “Lo! There is a better way, my child! But it might seem disgusting at first…”
Very creative ! I will try that